Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

The world swirled, danced. Darkness turned to figures and those figures turned into light. They hovered around him, watching like gods who loved their creation. They laughed and the sound reminded him of pureness and innocence. There among the grass he saw his mother.

Steve had almost drowned but everyone worked together to get everyone into the new room above them. They had all scrambled into the room from the flooded room as it rose, pushing them up. They had noticed one man missing, Jack

George dove in. The three Kats watched at the edge of the hole, waiting, wanting, and hoping.

"Where's Jack?" Mendy asked. It was Katrina, she was paler and skinnier than the other two, who replied, "Somewhere in the water."

Mendy didn't know what to do, she felt a bond, a lifeline for Jack, and like the others before, he could be dead. There was something about him that she trusted but she moved on, accepting his death. This is a game and people are going to die she thought to herself and walked away. She began to examine the room.

The water broke as George lifted Jack among the three Kats and they pulled him up. George began CPR.

Mendy stared at three girls who were now crying. She wondered why she felt stronger than them, braver and why death didn't grab her. "One Wish."

Jack had awoken with water in his lungs and death at his teeth. He returned along with his memory.

"If you want to get to the next room I think you should all lie down," Mendy said slowly bringing herself to the floor.

There were long blades much like the blades on a hacksaw but thinner. They pulled out of the wall through the slits between the second and third large granite bricks. They stood waiting, buzzing four feet off the ground and they twitched like bees about to attack.

They sprung into motion and slid across the room fast enough to shave a hair off one of the Kats. It was Katie, the one with longer hair and olive skin.

"Stay down," Marina yelled. Another blade two feet in the air had slid past with the speed of a well crafted trap.

"Now up," Marina said.

"What?" someone asked confused. They stared at the blade that laid below the last bricks only a couple of centimeters off the floor.

Jack was still reliving his newly remembered memories but pushed them back to the monolith in his mind, to concentrate on the new room of death.

The blade slid across the floor and they tried to jump. Only a couple had cleared; the others had fallen on the ground. The blades were only high enough to knock them off their feet. Many laughed, embarrassed by their own fear.

Mendy lied back down and Jack had seen her. The next set of blades were already out, two feet high springy as the locks, pins and springs bounced with potential energy.

"Down!" Jack said holding Marina's hand as they lied on the floor.

"Shit!" Mendy said as she noticed all three blades sticking out ready to cut everyone into pieces.

"Water," George whispered to Jack. George had pulled him close to the center of the room. The hole of water was the only solace, unless they could jump all three blades. Jack held Marina's hand and brought her to the pool. The blades sprung to life and the splash of those three had created had the others running and sliding.

Mendy slid in first, followed by other feet and bodies. Lastly a pair of legs severed above the knee followed by a torso cut below the nipples. The Kats screamed causing everyone to flinch as their ears were filled with pain. Jade was dead.

The water had turned red and everyone stayed, waiting for it to be over. Even when it was, they stayed floating due to the fear that giggled in their stomach.

A door had slid opened and Paul was the first out and towards the door. "We can't stay here, who knows what will kill us in the water if we don't move to the next room," George had said.

They pulled themselves out of the water. Marina stared into Jack's eyes. She was scared and surviving had increased her level of emotion to the point that she believed that Jack was her soul mate. She thought she loved him and it looked like he may love her back. Jack was just being brave and saw that look that she gave him. He questioned himself, should I tell her?

They moved, wet and scared. Steve had peed himself in the water but it was unnoticeable along with other secrets.


“Jade, the Olympian. She is personally one of my favorites,” the announcer said with a grin that could swallow a city.

“Jade, tell us. Are you scared?”

“Scared? Let me tell you a secret. I’m frightened, I’m nervous and . . . “ Jade was quickly pulled out of the camera by two men dressed in darkness itself.

“She’s excited folks. She’s ready for anything,” the announcer had said trying to cover up the noise in the background.

“ . . . wrong with you? We’ll just kill you now . . .  replace you . . .  what you really want?”

She replied but her answer was lost in static but the camera got her face in the background, it was a whispered “One Wish.”
Sorry about getting this out to you late. I had corrective eye surgery last week, since I was told that my bad eye sight may hurt my chances at getting further in the fire dept. That's right, this nerdy guy actually has a really good chance at becoming one. Anyways, enough of excuses. Here's another wonderful chapter of The Monolith. I hope you survive. :D

First: Ch. 1
Prev: Ch. 3
Next: Ch. 5
Add a Comment:
lime-tailes Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Is it safe to say im addicted?
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
i hope so. :D
lime-tailes Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student General Artist
i flippin love this !
RyanTaylorGirl Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very interested to see how Jack's recovered memories will play in! It seems like the people who didn't display any fear were the first to go.
EmperorKarino Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, good chapter. it is good they are all working together, in situations like this i can picture people turning on each other or not bothering trying to save someone so they wouldn't be at any more risk of dying them-self. this chapter felt a little short, but maybe thats just me. good job, i like this.
iytj Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
mendystar1 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"for Jack, and like the others before he could be dead"
- probably need a comma 'like the others before, he could be dead'
Wow. I seem so mean and mysterious. Very good. Maybe describe the rooms a bit more? I know you're going through these rooms quickly but it might be nice to be a bit more descriptive.
And love the bit at the end. Very mysterious.

"This is game and people are going to die she thought to herself and walked away."
- comma? 'people are going to die, she thought to herself'. Or at least a separation between the thought and the narration.
"Jack was still reliving his newly remembered memories yet pushed them"
- have a but instead of a yet? 'Jack was still reliving his newly remembered memories but pushed them back..'
"Only a couple had cleared the others had fallen on the ground."
- have a 'while' in the middle of that sentence? or a comma. 'only a couple had cleared while the others had'
"The water had turned red and everyone stayed waiting for it to be over. It was already over and now they stayed floating due to the fear that giggled in their stomach."
- maybe reword it? Sounds a bit awkward.
"They stated at the blade"
- 'stared' Wrong spelling.
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Thank you so much again. :)
mendystar1 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! :)

I only want to suggest that you be a bit more descriptive. It seems like you're killing people for the sake of killing people, which I understand a bit but it kinda undermines or makes little of importance they hold. Though it's a bit difficult with the number of characters involved and the fact they don't hold any memory but I think it might be good to be more descriptive on their personality traits so people can actually remember them and connect them with their names. And perhaps you can be more descriptive on the rooms themselves. A bit hard with them running place to place but it might be good to describe it a bit more so people don't get too lost.
hopeandlight4everas1 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Gosh, that was exciting, can't wait for the next one ^^
Add a Comment:

:iconlverawrites: More from LVeraWrites

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
April 2, 2013
File Size
5.4 KB


7 (who?)


Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.