Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
"We all wanted to be here," Jack said through the hallway, his aching like it had just split open. They all jogged next to him, listening to the words that flowed like fire.

"We were chosen to be here . . . we wanted to be here," he said staring blindly forward, almost hypnotized.

"This is all a big game and at the top of this large monolith is a prize," Jack stopped at the end of the hall, "one wish."

"We can have anything we want," he was still in a daze trying to push out the memories that that didn’t help them but forced their way into his head. They hammered through like flood break through a wall, but right now he needed to concentrate on the ones that could help them. His mom, his grandfather and  . . . he pushed it away and concentrated on the television. His eyes began to tear.

"It's another beautiful day at the base of the monolith . . . well if you don't count the immense fog that has always surrounded it. So if you never heard of the monolith, which I doubt, this is broadcasted in 20 different languages, then you know that it has been around for over twenty years yet even the most brilliant minds believe it's been around for longer maybe even preceding man itself."

Jack could see the fog breaking behind the announcer and there, in the opening he saw 27 people lined up about to enter the monolith and none of them were there in the room with him. This was another year, a year where there were no survivors, just like every year before it.  

"There you are, Jacky," his grandmother said with an energy that hadn't heard since she was younger.

Jack was on the television. It flickered as the television panned over all the chosen people. They were all between the age of 18- and 24, all but one could swim. They all met the other requirements such as running a mile in nine minutes, learning basic survival skills and safety skills. No one knew they would forget much of what they knew when the doors closed. Actually, no one knew anything that happened inside. Once they tried to place a camera inside and the live feed was severed when the doors closed. The camera was never found.

They were in the next room. Mendy bent down and tried to lift the heavy chains that were connected to the door in the room.

"How do you even know that's the way out?" George had yelled at Mendy.

"Either way, I can't move it by myself," she said barely loud enough for George to hear.

"We need to work together." The girl's name was Connie and she was the only one who kept a smile throughout their ordeal even though now it seemed to be fading. "I think we can pull the chains together and . . . " Paul interrupted, "I'm not pulling anything."

The air in the room grew with energy as the others rallied together and stood on each side of the chains. Paul and Jack sat nearby watching the team pull and George lead with his loud voice, "Pull!" and they pulled with everything they had.

Swirling out through the tiny gap that had emerged was the smell of old dirt and stone - it was working. The wall was moving.

The chains felt less heavy and the effort disappeared as they pulled together.

"Pull!"

Paul stood up and made his way to the crack and as soon as he disappeared behind the new gap, the team laid the chains on the ground. They breathed the stagnate air of victory until the wall started to close back up.

"Pull!" George said trying to pull the chain himself but strained his muscles and slid forward. Everyone's smile vanished and they ran back on their position on the chains but it felt heavier, harder. Their shoulders and back ached and many of them weren't helping at all but they tried anyways, straining and using as many muscles that would cooperate with them. Mendy heaved, George's veins stood out of his arms and Jack had joined the fray, pulling with everything he had until the door made a loud clicking sound. They dropped the chains and in a panic ran through the door, leaving a lone shoe in the doorway.

"Must be Paul's," George said as he entered the hallway last, after he had made sure everyone else had gotten through.  

***

The doors were large enough to push through a large elephant with a giraffe riding on its back. It was between those doors that the announcer had caught Paul.

"How does it feel to watch those kids get ready to enter?"

Paul pulled the camera off his shoulders and grunted. He watched as the last kids entered. "Hold this!" he said and began to run forward, where the kids had stopped to wave to their family and friends.

The boys name was Kyle and he didn't make it in the room. Paul had shoved him hard enough to twist the boy's and with the speed of a buzzing bee the doors closed behind him.

"Well, I didn't see that . . . I take that back. I knew he'd do it," the announcer said into the only camera left.
This chapter is a bit short, but right now I'd have a harder time getting a longer piece out. So busy, with so many things.

First: Ch. 1
Prev: Ch. 4
Next: Ch. 6
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmendystar1:
mendystar1 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"his grandmother said with an energy that hadn't heard since she was younger."
- 'with an energy they hadn't heard'
"18- and 24"
- no need for dash
Reply
:iconlime-tailes:
lime-tailes Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Student General Artist
So much to say in so little.
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
thanks. :) the next one is up!
Reply
:iconlime-tailes:
lime-tailes Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Student General Artist
yes!
Reply
:iconemperorkarino:
EmperorKarino Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
if they make it to the top do they all get a wish or only one of them? if its only one of them i am surprised they are working together.
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
I don't know. I guess we'll both find out. :)
Reply
:iconemperorkarino:
EmperorKarino Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
lol, awh, why you got to say it like that? lol, its fine, i will keep reading. :)
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
actually because im not done writing it. i'm currently still writing chapter 15. :)
Reply
:iconemperorkarino:
EmperorKarino Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh thats cool too, no pressure. i look forward to the next chapter, but you don't have to rush it.
Reply
:iconnoirraven:
noirraven Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! My character is soo quiet... LOL...

Alright some edits:

"We all wanted to be here," Jack said through the hallway, his ** aching like it had just split open. <-I think you're missing a word where I put the **

trying to push out the memories that that didn’t help <- two "that" 's, only need one

So if you never heard of the monolith, which I doubt, this is broadcasted in 20 different languages, then you know that it has been around for over twenty years yet even the most brilliant minds believe it's been around for longer maybe even preceding man itself." <- This one should read "So if you've never heard of the monolith-which i doubt, this is broadcasted in 20 different languages-then you know that it has been around for over twenty years! Yet even the most brilliant minds believe it's been around for longer; maybe even preceding man itself.

"There you are, Jacky," his grandmother said with an energy that hadn't heard since she was younger. <- that *he* hadn't heard since she was younger

Their shoulders and back ached <- back's ached

Paul had shoved him hard enough to twist the boy's and with the speed of a buzzing bee the doors closed behind him. <- Missing a word, I assume it should say "shoved him hard enough to twist the boy's ankle" but heck that could be just about anything

Hope that helps! :)
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
it sure does help. Btw, the next piece is up.
Reply
:iconnoirraven:
noirraven Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool!

and good good! :) I'll get to it right now :)
Reply
:iconfishiegirl17:
FishieGirl17 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
These are really awesome! And I agree with RyanTaylorGirl, the shortness is pretty appealing.
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
thanks. The longer ones drive me crazy. :)
Reply
:iconfishiegirl17:
FishieGirl17 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can imagine!
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016
Thanks. Guess what I finally put up something new. "The Alabastor Succubus" fav.me/d9xkd9m
Reply
:iconryantaylorgirl:
RyanTaylorGirl Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like that it's short actually, it adds to what happens at the end there.
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Me too. It also summarizes a bit of what's happening in little bits.
Reply
:iconryantaylorgirl:
RyanTaylorGirl Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That it does. Very well done my friend
Reply
:iconlverawrites:
LVeraWrites Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016
Thanks. Guess what I finally put up something new. "The Alabastor Succubus" fav.me/d9xkd9m
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconlverawrites: More from LVeraWrites


Featured in Collections

Writings by RyanTaylorGirl

Writing by Writing-Apprentice


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
April 9, 2013
File Size
5.1 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
444
Favourites
7 (who?)
Comments
20

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×